Black Friday

Absolutely not. Close the tab, go for a nice gentle ride, and think about what you've done.

Because you'll skip it, then email us the exact question it answers, and we'll both know. So bite your lip, pour yourself a stiff one, and read on.

Cool. Firstly, you're the twat reading our FAQ halfway down a Black Friday sale page. Secondly, you're probably from Sydney. Thirdly, yes, we have Afterpay.

You scrolled straight past it, didn't you. Up to 60% off everything, online only, so nobody has to watch you do it. Sign up and you go first. Every dollar is a shot at the draw. No strings attached.

First pick. Wednesday 4 November, 12pm AEST / 1pm AEDT, you're through the sizes that actually fit before everyone else has found their password.

Absolutely. But stop crying. At the very least you get some awesome stuff at heavily discounted prices. Plus a shot at running away from your better half and the kids for a few days in January.

No. Signing up gets you through the door early. Spending is what gets you tickets, one for every dollar. Don't be the one who shows up early and then just stands there.

Check your junk folder. It's probably lying in there between the little blue pills and the hot singles in your area. Still nothing? Do it again. The form likes it.

Send them the link and let them do it themselves. They're an adult. Probably. Whether you tell them you went first is between you and your conscience.

Load up your cart and pull the trigger. Every dollar is one entry, so a $200 order is 200 goes. It's not the size of the order, it's what you do with it. Actually, no. It's the size of the order.

One winner, 18 or over. If you live in Australia, you can choose the Adelaide trip or a year of kit. If you live overseas, you receive a year of kit.

There will be. We're not saying what yet. Keep your eyes on your inbox. We're basically a charity.

No. Return it and the entry leaves with it. You don't get to have it both ways.

After the sale. We'll call you, not the other way round. If a stranger slides into your DMs saying you've won and asks for your bank details, that's not us. Block, delete, have a shower. Read the full draw terms.

No joke. The early access lot got there first. That's the whole point of signing up. Hit notify me on the product and we'll tell you if it comes back. See you on the list next year.

Maybe. It might also be gone. Waiting is a gamble, and we already run one of those. It's called the draw, and it's legal.

Yes. It works like cash because it is cash. And what you spend with it still earns draw entries.

Check the size guide on each product, and be honest with it. The jersey knows when you're lying.

We can't help with the card statement. Neither can Afterpay. Get it delivered to work and act surprised.

Everything looks better on the model. That's why they're the model. There are no change-of-mind refunds on sale items, so read the size guide before you commit. Faulty is different. That's on us, and we'll make it right.

No. Do Good discounts don't stack with sale pricing. Not on top, not underneath, not in any position you've got in mind. We've been asked nicely, we've been asked rudely, and it's still no.

No. Gift cards still work, because that's money, not a discount.

Mate, we've already knocked up to 60% off. Our pants are round our ankles. Don't get greedy.

We batch by date and by product, so some people get lucky first. Yours is coming. Watch your inbox, not the letterbox, and stop comparing yourself to your mates.

It might come in a few boxes from a few warehouses. If it does, we'll email you. Put the pitchfork down.

Throughout the sale, express. Most orders are out the door in 24 to 72 hours, but allow 5 to 7 business days. We're quick. Not that quick.

Every extra email sends you to the back of the queue, deep into the Black Friday Customer Service Bermuda Triangle. Email once, with your name and order number in the subject line. Clingy is not a good look.